Loving Without Balance: Asabi’s Journey to Self-Respect

Asabi met Chinedu in their first year at the University of Ibadan. It was 100 level fresh excitement, new friendships, and big dreams. Asabi was the kind of girl people noticed without trying: beautiful, soft-spoken, and genuinely kind. Chinedu, on the other hand, was quiet, humble-looking, and always acting like life was hard on him.

Funny enough, it was Asabi who asked Chinedu out.

She liked his calm nature and believed he was just one of those men who needed patience and encouragement. When they started dating, Asabi went all in. Chinedu didn’t really contribute much to the relationship no dates, no gifts, no effort but Asabi understood. Or so she thought.

She became the giver and the fixer.

Whenever they went out with Chinedu’s friends, Asabi would secretly send money to Chinedu so he could pay the bill and not feel embarrassed. She bought him clothes, supported him emotionally, and always reminded him that “better days were coming.” She played the role of the understanding girlfriend, even when it hurt.

What Asabi didn’t know was that Chinedu was saving the same money she gave him not to build their future, but to impress and spoil another girl. While Asabi was sacrificing, Chinedu was flexing elsewhere.

The turning point came in their second year.

Asabi’s rent was due, and at the same time, Chinedu claimed he needed money to pay a school fee or risk missing an important exam. Without thinking twice, Asabi gave him her rent money, trusting he would pay back quickly. She didn’t want him to lose the exam. After all, “what are partners for?”

Days turned into weeks.

When Asabi asked for her money back, Chinedu kept giving excuses. Eventually, Asabi had to struggle, borrow, and hustle just to pay her rent. When she finally managed to settle it and told Chinedu, instead of apologising, he shamelessly asked her to borrow him more money.

That was the moment the truth became clear.

By then, Chinedu had already gotten a part-time job but still never gave Asabi a single naira, not even as appreciation for everything she had done. No support. No remorse. Just entitlement.

Asabi didn’t argue. She didn’t beg. She didn’t insult him.

She simply blocked Chinedu, blocked his family, cut off every connection, and chose herself.

She focused on her studies, rebuilt her confidence, and learned a hard but powerful lesson:

love without balance becomes exploitation.

Years later, Asabi graduated stronger, wiser, and happier. Chinedu? He remained the same always looking for another “understanding” person to drain.

And Asabi never looked back.

Lesson of the story

Being loyal is beautiful, but don’t bleed for someone who won’t even scratch for you.

Understanding should never mean self-destruction.