My First Love Was a Lesson

Living life as a decent lady is not as easy as people make it sound. I minded my business, worked hard, and depended on no man. I had seen too many girls give their hearts to boys who only wanted their bodies, then disappear like nothing ever happened. I promised myself I would not be one of them.

I worked. I struggled. I stood alone.

Then I met Tunde.

Tunde was different at least that was what I thought. He was gentle, caring, and patient. He didn’t rush me, didn’t pressure me, didn’t make me feel like I owed him anything. When he told me he liked me and wanted us to be together, I hesitated. I had never been in a relationship before. Love was something I watched from afar, something that happened to other people.

But I told myself, How bad can it be?

So I agreed.

Dating Tunde felt like stepping into a new world. He listened. He showed up. He remembered little details about me. He helped when he could and never once asked for sex. That alone made me admire him deeply. I told myself, This is what love looks like. This is what I waited for.

I liked him. Truly.

Everything felt perfect too perfect.

One evening, I went to his place without calling. I wanted to surprise him, to do something sweet for once. I never imagined I would be the one surprised instead.

I opened the door and froze.

There was Tunde.

On the bed.

With another man.

My heart stopped.

My legs moved before my mind could think. I ran out of the room like my life depended on it. I could hear him calling my name, his footsteps chasing me down the hallway. Outside, he caught up with me, breathing heavily, tears in his eyes.

He begged.

He said he loved me. He said what I saw wasn’t what I thought. Then he said the words that broke whatever was left of my heart that was what he did for a living. He said it was survival. He said he never meant to hurt me.

I stood there, numb.

Love, betrayal, confusion, shock everything crashed into me at once. The man I thought was perfect. The man who made me believe relationships could be safe. The man who never touched me because he was hiding a life I never knew existed.

After that day, Tunde didn’t give up easily. He came to my house, begging, explaining, crying. He said I was the only woman he truly loved. But love alone is not enough when trust is broken in such a deep and painful way.

I knew my limits.

I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t date someone living a life I didn’t understand or accept.

I couldn’t build a future on confusion and fear.

So I walked away.

That was how my first relationship ended not with cheating in the usual way, not with lies about another woman, but with the realization that nobody is truly perfect. People carry secrets. People survive in ways we may never imagine.

I learned that day that protecting your peace is not wickedness.

Walking away is not weakness.

Sometimes, the first love is not meant to last—it is meant to teach you.

And I learned my lesson well.